[March 27, 2017]
Friends, I’m writing to tell you about a new project with a sad backstory.
When I first got sober in 2007, by far the best part was the opportunity it gave me to share the good news of recovery with others—which led to my blog, Sober Boots. For more than three years, I wrote about topics I hoped would help addicts and those who love them on the spiritual path of recovery. I also wrote a memoir, Sober Mercies (Hachette 2012).
As many of you know, my oldest son Noah was, like me, an alcoholic. When at 26 he moved to Colorado Springs to get sober like Mom, it seemed nothing short of a miracle. For the next five years, we enjoyed being in recovery together and living in the same town. Noah was brilliant, funny, a gifted musician, and dearly loved by many. Always a big fan of my writing, he generously gave me permission to write about him where our stories overlapped.
On October 31st, 2015, we lost Noah in a terrible tragedy. Through a combination of terrible choices—including going off his bipolar meds—he suffered a manic episode so severe that he had a complete psychotic break. He walked out his door one morning and shot the first three people he saw. He died in the ensuing shootout with police.
I’m not ready to talk more about that heart-shattering story yet, but I wrote a single post a few months after happened, letting readers know. I was so grateful for the loving response; but I also realized I had made myself vulnerable to feedback that was hurtful. At that point, I turned the blog off or “private.”
Since then, I’ve received a constant flow of requests for permission to view the blog. Some were previous followers who wanted to reread a particular post. Others had read my memoir, Sober Mercies: How Love Caught Up With a Christian Drunk—and they wanted more. The question became: How do I free up the blog for new directions while still retaining the best of the recovery posts as a resource? That’s where the idea for a compilation was born. My talented friend Skylar Call painted the cover art. My sister Katherine spearheaded the project, working endless hours compiling and editing it (she knew I couldn’t bear to do it myself), and I’m so thankful to her for her hard work!
The book is a selection of the best posts from the Sober Boots blog over the course of three years, from 2012 to 2015. Some of them include Noah. Since his death I have struggled with my own sobriety. I am no one’s hero. But I hope the words I wrote during those years of happiness and hope can continue to help those on the difficult path of recovery.
Thank you for all the prayers and kind thoughts so many have sent my way during this dark time. Every word has mattered, and all that love is helping me to heal, I hope. Grief is long and at times seems unending. But God is greater than my grief. This I believe, and it has to be enough.
PS/Addendum: I feel I have to warn you that the book in its current iteration has quite a few typos and errors. I hope to release a new, edited version soon in case you want to wait. I’m writing this note in October, 2021, but unsure when I’ll get to it.